Stuck inbetween

Throughout my life I’ve been stuck in the middle. As I have mild cp I am able to do many things that any other teen can do but I’m also quite limited

I attended a regular nursery whilst I attended a special ed one twice a week. From then on, I was in a mainstream classroom with assistance from a classroom aid. As from nursery age through to the end of middle school, I was in intense therapy on a weekly basis. But then again, I got to the age where I was embarrassed of going to therapy, so when others asked where I was going, I would fake it and say ‘to the dentist’ instead. 

I’ve always had this thought – where do I ‘fit in’? My disability is to some extent invisible and I feel as if though no one knows how I feel as they cannot see that I am struggling. But the truth is that sometimes I do – sometimes I feel sad and lonely just because many people don’t understand. Just because it is not visible to others does not mean that I don’t have cerebral palsy and it does not mean that I am not struggling.

Because my cp is mild, everyone assumes that I can do everything at the same pace and level as them but the answer is no. This is why I feel under pressure when I am surrounded by a big group of people who I don’t know; I’m always pushing and beating myself not to do anything ‘weird’ or to do everything ‘smoothly’. 
I  am in a difficult situation. 
I like to feel at ease and just be myself, after all cp is a part of me which I cannot change. So why hide it if that’s how God made me? Surely there is a reason behind this. 
Now, I finally found that reason and managed to be myself and love myself for who I am. In fact, I am glad to have cp because it has made me a stronger person and I have met really wonderful and caring people along the way. I have great friends who accept me no matter what and love me for who I am. 
Image result for those who mind don't matter quote
‘People will only accept you if you accept yourself’
-Acceptance is the key!
~ #Alexcandoit

One thought on “Stuck inbetween

  1. Great outlook! I know exactly what you mean about appearing to be average (I hate the word ‘normal’) when it really does take so much more energy and concentration to do things at the same speed as every one else efficiently. I’ve become a master – because of my dyspraxia and now MS – at saying “could you just give me a moment” and “I’m struggling a little just bear with me a second.” Etc. Much better than beating yourself up over not being good enough or quick enough! 😊 xx

    Liked by 1 person

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