Tag Archive | Cerebral palsy

Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day!

Happy cerebral palsy awareness day to everyone with CP out there! This is the day when we should all reflect back on our lives and see how far we’ve come despite the struggles we face. A year ago, I would never have thought I’d be so happy as I am now. CP has made me a stronger person, who had to fight and never give up to achieve her dreams. I am extremely grateful to everyone who has helped me along my journey – pushing me along to  watch me succeed. Last year I was hating myself for being different and not being able to do things that others could do, I wished I didn’t have CP.

However, today I am a completely different person as I’ve realised that being different is great – it makes us unique. It has made me grateful for all the little things in life. Recently I gave a short speech about myself in school for them to see that nothing is impossible and if they really want to do something they can. A disability doesn’t stop you!

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This year has been great-I have met new, amazing friends, one of which also has cerebral palsy. She is an amazing, strong and determined woman who is always willing to achieve her goals and help others. She’s inspired me, helped me accept myself and taught me how to love myself! Thanks to her, I have now become more open about my disability and won’t let it hold me back! It feels amazing to have someone that is like you, someone who you feel comfortable with and who you can be yourself with. If it wasn’t for my friends who accept me no matter what, I don’t where I’d be now. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I thank them for that.

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My message to all of you is if you believe you can achieve. Writing these blogs has helped me believe in myself, connect with people in a similar situation and be more open about the difficulties that I face because of CP. But, despite my difficulties, I still get through and manage to achieve great things. My life has been full of obstacles but they have made me the woman I am today!

We are able to do so much – even if we don’t think so, let’s continue fighting and working hard for success!

Happy CP Awareness Day! I am so grateful for all my supporters!! Hope you all have a great Easter xx

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Aches that won’t go away…

The pain has come again. I’m sick of it.

 Last year I had a little accident in which I missed a step when I went on a zip-line. As I was strapped to a harness my body jerked up causing pain on my hip and therefore leg. I had x-rays done which didn’t seem to spot any problems. So I was referred to physio which was where they found that my pelvis was dislocated. There and then I had it manipulated and I was in no pain at all for he following few months. 🙂

About 3 weeks ago the pain started again, this time it was  worse –  in both hips and both legs. This time I went to a specialist physio.  My appointment was an hour long and I had a full physical examination. I was told that the reason behind my pain was a lack of exercise, bad posture as well as wearing the wrong type of shoes. So, I was given several exercises to do everyday in order to keep stretching and strengthening my hip and leg muscles.
I really don’t understand what is wrong with me because I am doing everything that I was told to – I walk everywhere, I’m doing the exercises everyday, I’m walking for an hour once a week and I’ve bought the proper walking shoes which were recommended by the physio. It’s a real pain – both physically and mentally! 😦
I wake up in pain and go to sleep in pain. It’s so horrible!
And what’s even worse is , I went to the doctor’s today and I got no help at all. I was told that there is nothing that can be done. I felt really sad and angry as I can’t take the pain anymore. I’m also worried about my future as I will be going to uni this September and the pain will make uni even harder. Also, my parents have been saying that I am too young to be experiencing great amounts of pain and I cannot be taking painkillers all the time. Can anyone relate to this? I would be extremely grateful if anyone has any recommendations of what you do to try and ease the pain.

University worries

Please help me! I’m in need of advice regarding my disability and university.

I have now made up my mind and come to the conclusion that I want to go to uni to study french and business. However, there is one important issue… my disability. Due to my cerebral palsy, I struggle with my writing – it’s quite slow because of my lack of fine motor skills. This means that I will need a support assistant to take notes for me as it would be impossible for me to take down the notes as the lecturer speaks. Additionally I will also need extra time in exams. I will also have to disclose my slight speech impediment and the fact that I was exempted from the oral examination. So I would really appreciate it if anyone who has been to uni or are going, and have a similar disability, could answer these questions for me:

  • Did you mention your disability in your personal statement?
  • Did you call/e-mail the universities before applying?
  • Did you actually visit the universities beforehand?
  • Did your school take care of it?

Thank you in advance, I am really worried! I really want to go to to university and want to prepare and disclose these issues to the university as soon as possible so that they accept me but I don’t know how to 😦 Therefore if you have any advice I could really use it right now.

Experiencing more pain recently than ever…

Recently I have been feeling very tired and experiencing a lot of tightness in my muscles, especially in my calves because of the way I walk. About a year ago, I had the same problem so I went to physio and I was told to do some stretches everyday in order for my muscles to grow properly (as my body was growing, but not my calf muscles). To be honest, I started doing them everyday for a few weeks, but it came to a point where I either forgot or was too tired and not bothered to do them. After a month or so, I was fine and wasn’t experiencing any pain…

However, several months ago my CP really started to annoy me. My right leg (weak side) was really hurting and so it limited me from doing what I wanted to do. I had to lie down and ‘massage’ my leg as it wouldn’t go away. I’ve also been feeling incredibly tired and found it hard to make it through a day without taking a nap – I never used to take naps when I was younger! This got me thinking, will everyday tasks get harder with age? Will I be experiencing more pain as I get older?

Only after walking a fairly short distance, which caused no pain before, I now feel really lethargic and my right leg just sort of ‘gives up’ on me. However, I always try to ignore the pain and carry on.

But, after a few days, I can’t take the pain anymore! I get mad to think that I’m always so tired and I have no energy as well as sad to think that I am limited and restricted to things that I would like to do – if this is now, how will I be in thirty or forty years time?

Society and CP are not a good combination.

About a month ago I was told I had social anxiety and it is clearly caused by my mild cerebral palsy. As my cp affects my speech slightly, among other things – such as my startle reflex and my poor motor skills, I was constantly stared at and sometimes made fun of. I will always remember this young girl who was about 4 or 5 at that time, I must have been 8. Anyway, we were at the beach and she overheard me while I was talking to my cousin. “She talks weird” was what she told my cousin when I was RIGHT BESIDE her. I had to keep it in at the time and deal with it. However, these words really tear my heart apart as there is nothing I can do about the way I speak – although when I was younger my speech was worse. 

At the beginning of this year was when all those ‘saddening’ memories came back. I sat alone in my room and cried my heart out – wishing I could speak like other people and why I spoke differently. Here, I wished I never had cp and was constantly asking myself the question ‘why me?’ I even had extreme thoughts of which I would never have thought of before this. You can probably figure it out! Thankfully, my mum noticed early enough to get me some help.

I was offered the opportunity to see a psychologist – at the beginning I was worried about going as I didn’t know what to expect. My first appointment was a little awkward as I wasn’t quite familiar with the situation and I couldn’t express all my feelings openly yet. However, appointment after appointment I became much more open with my therapist as I knew that all she wanted to do was help me – and was not going to judge in any way. After sharing my thoughts and worries, she came to the conclusion that I have social anxiety.

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This is true as I am incredibly self-conscious everywhere I go. When I am in a big group of people and asked a question, I instantly sweat, my body goes all shaky and I choke on my words – with the addition of the ’embarrassing’ unwanted actions that cp brings. This makes me feel weak and intimidated by society as I can’t control the way my body moves – as much as I want to. In order to avoid these social situations, I tend to hide away in my room, but I am working towards getting rid of that anxiety and shyness together with my therapist.

I am so glad I made this step in my life because, slowly, I am overcoming my social anxiety. If I hadn’t gone, I would have been stuck in my house all day and would have never had the courage to expose myself to society, Thanks to the support of my psychologist among many other people, I am slowly beginning to accept myself for who I am and view life with a positive perspective – some days more than others, but hopefully I’ll get through it!

A bit of everything!

Hi everyone!

The reason why I have not been posting much lately is due to the fact that I was preparing for my ‘nerve-racking’ AS level exams. My head was fully blown with vast amounts of revision as well as worries. So yeah, you can probably guess that I am somewhat a worrier! Anyway, now that exams are over the celebrations can begin! 

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This is a blog about my recent experiences and feelings about living with cerebral palsy (cp). I have mild cp, which means I can do pretty much everything but at a slower pace or slightly different to others. My right side is weaker, and may not always act quickly (especially when I want it to). When I was younger I had a limp in my walking but now you can hardly notice it – except when I’m tired. In the past I was faced with vast amounts of stares – and I still get some. This makes me feel very frustrated as there is nothing I can do about my disability and that’s what most people don’t understand. I will be happier if people would ask me questions (obviously in a polite manner) than to stare at me from top to bottom – that really hurts me.11037556_993670623994619_8407952340464195641_n

This type of cp means that when I am under pressure my movements are really difficult to control – personally, this is one of the most embarrassing things, as well as my startle reflex (which I absolutely hate). 

Don’t get me wrong – my life is not all negative! I’m glad that I have cerebral palsy (in a way) just because it’s given me the opportunity to meet very special people and to achieve some pretty amazing things – which I’ve had to push myself for! If I wouldn’t have cp, I wouldn’t be the same person, as I received incredible amounts of help and support all throughout my childhood and so this has led me to have an interest in helping people with disabilities – this makes me remember some amazing memories and achievements. I have also had the pleasure of meeting amazing and inspirational people through the CP Teens UK chat group on Facebook. Through this, I have had the opportunity to share experiences with people with the same condition and I have found lots of support (the group has given me a more positive view of the world and has picked me up when I felt down – thank you for that!).

That’s it for now – I would love to know what you think about my blog and please feel free to ask anything or suggest a topic for my next blog 🙂 

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