My days are full of pain – sometimes bearable and many times debilitating. Pain takes up all my energy, meaning that it’s difficult to get through the day without a nap. I want to do things and make the days ‘productive’ – especially as I’m in uni. I always feel guilty on my bad days because I know that I should be studying but I just can’t concentrate when I’m in so much pain. Every single day is a struggle, a battle with my body and a fight to stay awake and active – making uni more difficult .
But the worst thing is that I have to get up everyday (though I feel like going back to bed) and get through the day with a fake smile and pretend everything is ‘FINE’ – when I really am struggling. I just want this to end and wish that I could have my life back 😥 There are day when I cry myself to sleep, or I start the day with tears.
I cannot remember what it feels like to live without pain…
Walking has become much harder, uneven and painful and everything requires much more effort. So I tire out much more easily but then at least I get a few hours of relief… as soon as I fall asleep my pain stops (thank god for that).
I’m sick and tired of all this pain, it’s restricting me and taking over my life!! 😦